“I see two of you”

It is my 8th day in the hospital isolated room. How do I pass the time? Interesting question- Let’ see.

I get up, try to eat, pray, talk to mom, switch on CNN-listen to the news about how the countries are struggling with Coronovirus- gets worried and switch off the TV. For the next couple of hours I stay anxious and I pray more, talk to my sister, mom again, my boss who has been an amazing motivator in spite of being himself in the same situation and Voila! Its evening-another day passed.

Thankfully, for the last few days my giddiness has been less and I have not been throwing up so I am able to eat, although not like my normal self.

An interesting thing happened today, I fell asleep for a while around midday and then I could hear someone banging the glass door. Here is the thing, since nurses are also advised to minimize their visit to our rooms, they sometimes knock at the door to check if we are alright and if we need anything. I love them for this. I got up in shock and looked at her. She was signalling thumbs up, so I am also supposed to do the same to signal back “am ok”.  But to which one, there is one of her on the left and one on the right. Totally confused I could only speak  “I see two of you.” I was actually looking at two of her.

She broadened her eyes, smiled and said “Relax.” I calmed down, closed my eyes and opened again. Ok-now there was one. Then she showed me her first finger indirectly asking if I see one now. I nodded. For the next 10 minutes I was surprised at myself. This has never happened to me before. I had been sick earlier. But not isolated, alone, worried  about our families and friends, concerned about how is it going to end- it’s all there.

It has been really overwhelming but we have to remind ourselves to be positive and trust the supreme power. Things are not in our hands anymore. Well, Were they ever?

But please do wash your damn hands.

Amber

 

7 Replies to ““I see two of you””

  1. Oh Amber, this is such a scary time for everyone, but more so for those of you have the virus and are quarantined. My heart goes out to you, and my prayers too. What a terrible experience, to see double like that! I am thinking of you. Keep your chin up – you’re doing an amazing job at getting through this ❤

    Like

  2. So you’re probably just resting, and maybe there is no great cause for concern…
    But I am anyway 😦
    Are you okay? I pray that you are ❤
    You're on my mind and in my heart.
    Please be okay ❤

    Like

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