“I see two of you”

It is my 8th day in the hospital isolated room. How do I pass the time? Interesting question- Let’ see.

I get up, try to eat, pray, talk to mom, switch on CNN-listen to the news about how the countries are struggling with Coronovirus- gets worried and switch off the TV. For the next couple of hours I stay anxious and I pray more, talk to my sister, mom again, my boss who has been an amazing motivator in spite of being himself in the same situation and Voila! Its evening-another day passed.

Thankfully, for the last few days my giddiness has been less and I have not been throwing up so I am able to eat, although not like my normal self.

An interesting thing happened today, I fell asleep for a while around midday and then I could hear someone banging the glass door. Here is the thing, since nurses are also advised to minimize their visit to our rooms, they sometimes knock at the door to check if we are alright and if we need anything. I love them for this. I got up in shock and looked at her. She was signalling thumbs up, so I am also supposed to do the same to signal back “am ok”.  But to which one, there is one of her on the left and one on the right. Totally confused I could only speak  “I see two of you.” I was actually looking at two of her.

She broadened her eyes, smiled and said “Relax.” I calmed down, closed my eyes and opened again. Ok-now there was one. Then she showed me her first finger indirectly asking if I see one now. I nodded. For the next 10 minutes I was surprised at myself. This has never happened to me before. I had been sick earlier. But not isolated, alone, worried  about our families and friends, concerned about how is it going to end- it’s all there.

It has been really overwhelming but we have to remind ourselves to be positive and trust the supreme power. Things are not in our hands anymore. Well, Were they ever?

But please do wash your damn hands.



25 Replies to ““I see two of you””

  1. Oh Amber, this is such a scary time for everyone, but more so for those of you have the virus and are quarantined. My heart goes out to you, and my prayers too. What a terrible experience, to see double like that! I am thinking of you. Keep your chin up – you’re doing an amazing job at getting through this ❤


  2. So you’re probably just resting, and maybe there is no great cause for concern…
    But I am anyway 😦
    Are you okay? I pray that you are ❤
    You're on my mind and in my heart.
    Please be okay ❤


    1. I am sorry I missed your messages. Was trying to get back to normal life if that includes washing my hands 1000 times in a day and cleaning everything thrice. Wouldn’t say its easy. My colleagues have handled well. I am taking time , may be because I live alone. They are back with family. Still haven’t met anyone. I feel lonely at times. Can’t wait for the normal times to be back soon.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey… Thank you so much for checking up. I am doing good. Thank God. I was discharged end of March, then took time to clean the house,arranging supplies since I was still in 2 weeks home quarantine. That is over now, I can step out but I don’t (you know I am extremely paranoid). Anyway, there is a lock down and we have to apply for online permit to go out for necessities. I just manage with online orders. Since last week started working as well (work from home) so that has been a struggle too. Lots to catch up. All and all, I am doing well, can’t thank god enough. Praying for all. Stay safe. Thanks again for lovely wishes and prayers.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I know you’re playing catch up, and trying to adjust…
    But I thought I’d just pop in and check to see if you’re still as okay as can be expected?
    I think of you every day. Sending prayers and virtual hugs your way.


    1. Hi, I am doing very well. Thank you 🙂
      Hope you are doing good too. How are things there? Do you guys have lock down too or is it a bit relaxed? One thing to another, since I work for Energy industry and with all these oil economy issues, lot of job safety issues popping up. But nothing is more important than the fact we are healthy and safe. Thank you so much. You are a beautiful soul. Lot of prayers and hugs your way too love. Stay Safe and healthy.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. WordPress didn’t notify me of your comment 😦
        Good thing you were on my mind this morning and so I popped in 😉
        Our lock down is stupidly strict… but without proper implementation. So those of us who are actually following the rules are sort of fighting a losing battle against the multitudes who aren’t. I guess there’s no pill for stupid :/ 😦
        How are you doing now? Everything still okay?
        You’re always in my thoughts. Sending big virtual hugs into the cyber world for you ❤


      2. Word press has been funny lately. You have been on my mind too. Yes I am all well. Here they have started easing up a bit on restrictions. I have still not stepped out at all. LOL. Not even for a walk in the building compound. Take care there. Hoping and Praying it all gets better soon. A big hug for you.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. After all you have been through, I certainly don’t blame you for being extra cautious. I have been ridiculously careful, and I haven’t had, and don’t have, the virus.
        The only restriction that has been lifted is one that actually makes no sense at all… but then again, nothing is these days with regards to our governments control over us 😦
        We’re all allowed to ‘hit the streets’and go for a walk between 6am and 9am. While I am relieved that I CAN without breaking any laws, (today is the first day of this) I am still not going to. It’s complicated, but the situation over here goes beyond the virus, sadly.

        That said, my kids and I are okay, and health wise we are fine. ❤

        Thinking of you and sending hugs your way ❤


      4. I have been thinking about you. Hope you are doing well and staying safe. How is the situation there? I am still staying at put at home. But I think soon offices will start too. Lot of offices have already started functioning. Hope this all gets better soon. My friends are struggling with their kids online classes. How is it going on there?Lots of hugs your way. Take care.


      5. Hello, dear Amber 🙂
        We’re still all healthy and safe for now 😉
        Thankfully my son was already doing his degree with an online university here, so his routines and studies are still pretty much the same.
        My daughter is a teenager (nearly 15) so although I am strict and try to enforce dedication to learning time, she also knows (because we have discussed it) that the onus is on her. She needs to take responsibility. She’s struggling a bit to be diligent about it, but has spurts where she sits down and pays attention to it. At this stage, there’s still NO confirmation of any date for schools to return, so I also think that doesn’t help. Our school year here runs from January to December – so this has really been a strain for the kids. There are ‘proposed’ dates, which means her grade will only go back at the beginning of July :O :O :O I can only imagine that trying to home school young children must be extremely difficult, because let’s face it, kids always act out with their parents. 😦

        Our lock down rules are still ridiculously strict and many small businesses have surrendered and shut down permanently 😦 We have an 8pm curfew, and we’re still not allowed to be out and about before that really. They HAVE allowed ‘exercise time’ between 6am and 9am. People are allowed to go for a walk/run/cycle. Beaches are still closed though during that time. And if you get caught during exercise time without a mask, you get a heavy fine – some have been arrested and now have a criminal record :/ The absolute nonsensical craziness continues…. we’ve been living like this now for 8 weeks and people are getting fed up. If it was ‘same rule applied for all’, it would be different and I think we’d be on top of safety… but it’s not. 😦
        I went to the shop the other day, with my mask, carrying sanitiser, being conscious and considerate of others. There was a group of people that had been transported who all climbed out of the bus where they had been sitting on top of each other, no masks, no sanitiser, no nothing. They went into the shop, I followed a few metres behind. I watched the one lady coughing on the bread (yes… and I know it’s already in packaging, but still!) and then she moved on, picking her nose, and touched almost every block of cheese on the dairy shelf. So I just left the shop. :/
        The shops, since 1 May, have signs up now that if you’re not wearing a mask, then you aren’t allowed in. Great concept. But when I went to get rusks in the biscuit aisle, there were four ladies and a child standing chatting, with their masks hanging around their necks. Ugh!
        But anyway… I do what I can, and try to comply, and practice safety every time I come home – I sanitise my shoes in the garage, and leave them there. I take my clothes off as soon as I get home, and shove them into the washing machine – I wear a towel into the house etc.

        Life certainly has landed on the ‘madness level’ of whatever game is being played. Ha ha ha!
        BUT we are all okay for now… and keeping our spirits up and hopeful. 😉
        Thinking of you lots and sending love and hugs across the miles xx


      6. Hello Dear…how are you doing? Hope everything is safe and sound there? Good to know that you are taking all these precautions. How is the overall situation there? The shop incident you mentioned is scary and I am shocked on the people carelessness. Putting their and other lives in danger. Good that you didnt buy anything from that store. Take care as much as possible. There is only so much we can do. On my side of the world, things are pretty eased down. Yesterday, I went to a nearby mall to buy a laptop (literally went out after 3 months) and I was shocked to see that parking was full. It was pretty normal. Only difference was everyone had their mask on. (I had double 🙈) and no kids around. One more shocker is, I lost my job. Recently, they announced global redundancies. When I say global, i mean across the regions. Worst hit is mine and Houston. Somewhere I could see this coming with everything going on in the Company and global oil prices but I was not expecting it to happen so soon or was not expecting me to be the one as well. But what can we do. Irony is senior management has saved themselves and removed the middle staff. Politics in the times of crisis. I am not that sad about it coz lets face it since i joined this job i have hardly had time to breath. I was literally killing myself. But at the same time I am worried about finding another job in the given market. As of now i am starting few courses since I have time meanwhile i look for job. Also, waiting for travel restrictions to ease down so I can travel home and spend time with family. Back home situations are more critical. I really hope vaccine comes soon so we can start living somewhat normal again. Although, I feel the affect on people’s mind going to take while to go. You keep taking care dear. You are always in my mind. Much love and lots of hugs. Take care❤❤

        Liked by 1 person

      7. I am so glad that you are still okay, but very sad to hear about your job loss. And yes, there is definitely that concern with the current market about whether or not you’ll be employed again anytime soon 😦 I am praying and hoping that you will be though – but in something a little less stressful, so that you DO have time to breathe. Working continuously, while great for goal achievement and the future, can cause us to miss out on some very important aspects of life – friendship and love and family.
        Things in my country are very bad at the moment – and I am not even afraid of the virus anymore. The general feeling, because of the many who disregard the laws and are not being held accountable (it can never work in SA), is that we are all going to get this virus. I am more afraid of the corruption and the way the government is dealing with things… and those in power who are now abusing their powers, and causing fear and anger. Our crime has risen, which we couldn’t afford. And our restrictions are ridiculous – only applying to a ‘certain number of people’ when looking at arrests and fines. There is NO reasoning or explanation behind anything they are doing – and when they do bother to give us one, it just makes no sense. Without it being officially declared, we are pretty much now in a position of communism. An example? ”Shops are not allowed to sell t-shirts or flip-flops/sandals, and we are not supposed to be wearing them.” I didn’t know that our clothing will be the determining factor as to whether or not the virus spreads???!!!???
        Yeah, to say that I am fed up and horrified at what is going on is an understatement. 😦
        Doing my best to keep my chin up though, and hold on to hope. But it’s becoming increasingly difficult.
        Our Presidency is supposed to be advising us of the next set of rules, level change etc next week – supposedly to come into effect on the 1st June. Sadly, there are FAR TOO MANY who have made it clear that if the announcement doesn’t meet their expectations, there will be war within the country. I will continue to just hide in my house 😦 I don’t advocate the rioting and rebellion, because there will be unnecessary bloodshed – I’d rather face the virus than what is coming. :/ 😦
        So yeah… I am fine health wise, as are my children. But the foreseeable future is looking grim, and I will admit that I am afraid of what is coming, and it has nothing to do with our physical health 😦
        Anyway, I’ll keep praying for you, and thinking of you. And I hope you get to see your family soon xxx
        Much love, beautiful Amber ❤


      8. I am shocked to hear the situation there. I hope things stays in control. Sad that in such crisis also people don’t stop corruption. I really didn’t understand about t-shirts and sandles, what that has to do with virus. It’s same as anything else. You have to santize and use. This is insane. It seems government has no direction and absolutely no control whatsoever. I will pray that things doesn’t get more bad and you and your family stays safe. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Lots of love and hugs.Take care

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Hey, Amber is scary and we are praying for the whole world.
    I hope you are doing well. Hope for the best.
    Thanks for sharing this.
    Sending positive vibes and love.


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